Cauliflower Fried 'Rice' (V + GF)

Serve this to EVERYONE. Vegans and Gluten Frees and Paleos (I think?) and grain free friends and people that eat everything because this is bomb and easy and just takes some chopping time. Add some honey if you’re not vegan. Use soy sauce if you’re not GF. Throw an egg in at the end and call it GOOD.

INGREDIENTS
(makes enough for 4 as a side, 2 as lunch)

1 bag frozen cauliflower rice (~3 cups)
1 tsp olive oil/coconut oil
1 shallot, diced
1” ginger, grated (optional- don’t make a special trip if you don’t have it)
2 cloves garlic, grated
1 large carrot, diced small
2 stalks celery, diced small
1 c frozen peas (or fresh, whatever)
1/4 c chopped cashews
2 TBSP soy sauce or coconut aminos if GF
1/2 tsp honey (optional, omit if vegan)
1 tsp miso (also optional)
1 1/2 tsp sriracha
1 lime, cut into wedges

Start by chopping all of your veggies and setting them aside in a bowl because once that’s done, the rest is QUICK.

Saute the shallot in the oil over medium heat until translucent. Add the ginger, garlic, carrot, celery and peas and cook for 5-7 minutes until the veggies start to soften. Add the frozen cauliflower, cashews, soy sauce, honey, miso and sriracha and cook for another 7-9 minutes or so until the cauliflower is warmed through and tender. Serve with a wedge of lime and cilantro if you have it.

Optional: Add two eggs in after the cauliflower is cooked through and cook for another 2 minutes, moving the mixture around constantly to scramble the eggs into the fried rice! YUM.

Ballin' on a Budget: Feelings Pudding

What do you do when you’re overwhelmed with emotion? Aside from crying, I mean. What do you do with your body?

Do you go for a run (lol)? Turn on really loud music and dance? Fall into a netflix hole?

I make pudding.

There’s something so meditative to me about stirring a milk and eggs over a low flame until it turns into a luscious creamy chocolate pudding.

I’ve made this when I’m falling in love, when I’m heartbroken, when I’m scared, when I’m excited- really anytime I have extra feelings in my body that I’m not quite sure what to do with. I just stir them into pudding.

The other amazing thing about this recipe is that it can be made pretty much anywhere- it requires so little equipment and so few ingredients which makes it a perfect recipe for you to make as a houseguest- I love leaving these behind when I stay with friends! The vessel you put it in doesn’t matter so much, this recipe is pretty forgiving and can be made in a pot, a pan, a tart shell, a 9x13” pan or a cauldron.

It’s dairy free, costs about $8 to make and comes together in about fifteen minutes of active prepwork plus about 45 minutes of chilling time in the fridge. This can be made a few days ahead of serving and kept covered in the fridge until you’re ready to serve.

THE ONLY RULE WITH FEELINGS PUDDING: You MUST eat this straight out of the container. The only way you can serve it is by handing people spoons. If you are not comfortable eating this straight out of the container with the people you are serving it to, they are not close enough to you to eat feelings pudding with.

Feelings Pudding
(makes enough)

20 vanilla oreos
2 TBSP coconut oil

1 can full fat coconut milk
2 egg yolks
1 12oz bag bittersweet chocolate chips (I like Ghirardelli)

flaky salt

Crush the oreos. I did this in a large ziplock with a rolling pin but you can use a food processor- you just want them to be in fine crumbs. Combine the oreo crumbs with the coconut oil and press into your pan. I used a 9” pie dish, but this will really work in any shape pan- a bread pan, an 8x8” pan, a small pot- whatever you’ve got! Place the crust in the freezer to set up while you make the custard.

In a saucepan over a low flame, combine the whole can of coconut milk and egg yolks. Whisk, constantly, until the mixture coats the bottom of a spoon (this means that when you dip the spoon in and run your finger through it, the custard holds its place and doesn’t fill in where you’ve run your finger through). Remove from heat and pour the chocolate chips in. Cover them completely with the liquid and let them sit for a minute to soften, then whisk until he mixture is smooth and shiny.

Pour the custard through a fine mesh sieve and then into the crust, which should be fairly set by now. Put the feelings pudding back in the freezer for 20 minutes or in the fridge for 45 minutes-1 hour until it doesn’t wiggle when you move the dish. Top with flaky sea salt, give everybody a spoon and have some feelings about it.

xo
Audrey

Ballin' on a Budget: Tortilla Espanola

Eggs are something that never held any appeal for me. They were always too ‘wiggly’ and I had no interest in them.

And then I had Tortilla Espanola.

I was on a yoga retreat in Spain, staying at the house of an incredible chef who would cook us these grand brunches every single day. One of those days he was serving Tortilla Espanola, and I had no idea what it was but I was intrigued. It looked like a frittata made of mostly potatoes and a little bit of egg to hold it together and you put a potato in front of me, I’ll eat it.

So I took the tiniest sliver possible. 1/2 inch of tortilla slice. And then another one. And another. I was obsessed.

About a year went by and I had no idea what this thing was, I didn’t know how to research it, I didn’t know what to call it. All I knew was it was a giant round omelette filled with potatoes and I looooved it.

This past fall, I was reminiscing about my trip to Spain with my new boyfriend who had spent a good amount of time there and loves loves loves the food culture there. I was like, '“Did you ever have that thing that’s like an omelette but not really and it’s all potatoes and it’s so good?” He immediately knew what I was talking about and made it for me that night.

That was it for me folks. Hook. Line. Sinker.

Tortilla has become a staple in our diets these past few months, it’s delicious, simple, can be made ahead of time, takes three ingredients, and best of all we get to put ketchup on it.

Tortilla is the thing that got this picky girl to even eat omelettes that don’t have potatoes in them- I’ll even eat plain old eggs now if they’re cooked just right!

You can add a few slices of onion in when you’re cooking the potatoes but I love it just how it is.

Personally, I can’t get enough of Vital Farms eggs (this is not an add, I just taste the difference in pasture raised and you can even see it- the yolks are a completely different color). It’s worth paying the $5-6/dozen. The recipe will still be under $10 for a tortilla that will feed at least three maybe four.

Tortilla Española
(makes one 9” tortilla)

6 eggs
1 lb Yukon Gold Potatoes (about 3 small-medium)
1/4 c olive oil
salt & pepper to taste

Start by slicing the potatoes (longways, you want the slices to be long so they stack better) a little less than 1/4 in thick. If you have a mandolin, even better! You don’t have to peel the potatoes as long as they’re cleaned well.

In a 9” NONSTICK saucepan, heat the olive oil over medium heat for about two minutes. Drop the potatoes in all at the same time, season with salt and pepper and let them cook over medium heat for about 20 minutes, flipping the potatoes every 3-5 minutes or so until they’re just about cooked through. You don’t want the potatoes to brown, you just want them to be a little bit tender.

Crack the eggs into a separate bowl and beat the heck out of them for about a minute before pouring the eggs over the potatoes in the pan. Lower the heat to low and allow to cook, uncovered, for about ten minutes until the eggs begin to set. If you’d like, you can run a rubber spatula around the edges of the pan to make sure the eggs aren’t sticking.

Once the eggs are about set in the middle, flip the whole tortilla onto a plate, (do this over the sink just in case!!) slide it back into the pan, cooked side up, and cook over low flame for another 5 minutes or so until the bottom is set well.

Serve hot, at room temperature, or even cold straight out of the fridge the next morning!

xo
Audrey

Strawberry Smoothie Bowl

This is the strawberry smoothie bowl that I eat for breakfast every.single.day. It keeps me full, energized and satisfies my morning (all day) sweet tooth!

When I was making this this morning I started to think about routines, and how our body falls into such a pattern that most things we do are unconscious. I really recognized this after I had moved out of the house I lived in for 23 years and went back two months later to pack up a few remaining things. It was so strange how even after two months of not being somewhere, my body had the exact same pattern as it always did. Pull into the driveway, hit the garage door opener, walk in the house as I lock my car with my right hand, kick off my shoes, immediately walk through the kitchen to the living room to open the front door and check the mail. 

The first time I did that it felt like there was a ghost of a previous version that took over my body momentarily and knew what to do for me. It got me thinking about where else in my life my pattern has become unconscious. Kind've like how when you are a commuter your morning schedule is perfected down to the second. You look at the clock in your car at 6:27 each morning as you get out to hop on the train. 

Where in your life are you a zombie? What part of your routine has become so monotonous that you no longer need to think about it? What would it be like to switch it up and make yourself a smoothie bowl instead of just grabbing that same cup of coffee on your way out of the house? Could it feel like a treat?

Strawberry Smoothie Bowl

1 1/2 c frozen whole strawberries
3/4 c unsweetened almond milk
1/4 c orange juice
1 scoop Plant Based Vanilla Protein

to top:
1 TBSP Justin's Vanilla Almond Butter
coconut flakes (I get the unsweetened ones at Trader Joe's)
chia seeds
raw pecans
strawberries
honey

In a blender, blend the first four ingredients for a little longer than you think you need to- this is the difference between a kind've smooth smoothie and a dreamy fluffy creamy smoothie.

Top with whatever you'd like! Sometimes I add chocolate chips, other times I add granola, sometimes I top it just as it's pictured! The world is your oyster!

xo
Audrey

Party Hummus!

I'm going to tell you my favorite kitchen secret. 

You never ever have to make your own hummus in your whole life.

You don't have to peel individual chickpeas like lots of people will tell you. 

You don't have to remember to soak dried chickpeas overnight.

All you have to do is keep some cumin in the pantry and a few lemons in the produce drawer.

I promise you- no one will ever be sad if you show up to their house with hummus that you didn't make from scratch. They will not care that you stopped at the grocery store on the way to their house if you follow these simple tricks:

1. Take it out of it's ugly plastic container.
2. Make a pretty swirl on the top of it, drizzle some olive oil in the crevasses. 
3. Throw fresh crunchy things on top of it, surround it with bread/chips/other delicious things for dipping.

Here's a bomb recipe hack that will save you when you forget to get something for the party you are supposed to be at in a half an hour.

Party Hummus!
makes you know, as much as it makes

1 tub of your favorite store bought hummus (I love love Whole Food's original or Hope Brand)
1 lemon
1/2 tsp cumin
1 cucumber, seeded & diced
1 large heirloom tomato or 2 medium other tomatoes, diced
1/2 red onion, sliced super thin
Handful flat leaf parsley, chopped
Pinch salt & pepper
2 TBSP red wine vinegar
2 TBSP olive oil

In a medium bowl, whisk together the vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper. Toss the cucumber, tomato, onion and parsley in with the quick dressing you just made. 

In a separate bowl, stir the zest and juice of the lemon + 1/2 tsp cumin in with the tub of hummus.

Plop the hummus on a pretty plate, swirl it all nice (don't do this too far in advance or it will get crusty and nasty on the outside)- top with salad + another drizzle of olive oil and serve with whatever your little heart desires! I especially love pita if it's been grilled! 

(also- go wild with this concept and stir in whatever you like. Other good options are dill or roasted garlic or even some greek yogurt to make it super light and fluffy. Basically make your own flavored hummus. OG flavor hummus is usually pretty delicious from a grocery store, it's when they start adding a bunch of flavors that things can sometimes get weird.)

xo Audrey
 

(vegan) Dark Chocolate Sorbet

What does ice cream mean to you? 

Is it nostalgia- sitting in the trunk of your mom's SUV with the fam on a summer evening with mint chocolate chip dripping all over your tiny hands watching the motorcyclists drive past the beach?

Is it comfort- the Phish Food hug you need when you realize he's not the one? 

Is it connection- every vanilla with rainbow sprinkles you see reminds you of your best friend that lives halfway across the country? 

This might not be 'real' ice cream, but you wouldn't know it. It's ultra creamy mouthfeel combined with intense dark chocolate create an illusion of decadence- when really you're just eating frozen water! 

Dark Chocolate Sorbet
(recipe from David Leibovitz)
makes 1 quart

2 1/4 c (555ml) water
1 c sugar (200g) (can sub coconut sugar here!)
3/4 c (75g) cocoa powder
1 generous pinch salt
6oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped finely
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

\\ DAY BEFORE - if your ice cream maker is not a self compressing kind, don't forget to put the bowl in the freezer so you don't have to wait another whole day to dive into this deliciousness!

\\ In a large saucepan, whisk together 1 1/2 c water with the sugar, cocoa powder and salt (for real- don't put all the water in now or you'll end up with mega hard unscoopable sorbet)

\\ Bring to a boil over medium heat, whisking constantly. Let boil for 45 seconds then remove from heat.

\\ Stir in chocolate and vanilla extract until chocolate is completely melted, then stir in the remaining (room temp) water.

\\ Transfer to a blender and blend (holding the lid on with a towel so you don't have a chocolate explosion!) for about 30 seconds, until the the color has lightened a shade or two.

\\ Chill the mixture thoroughly (at least 2 hours), then transfer to your ice cream maker and freeze according to the machine's directions.

\\ Serve with a pinch of flaky sea salt, crushed pretzels, or anything but gummy bears! 

xo Audrey
 

(vegan & gluten free) Sweet Potato Tacos

Once upon a time I worked at an Irish pub. 

There, I learned the most efficient way to clean a ketchup bottle top (soak it in hot water).

I learned how to pour a perfect pint with a shamrock on top (magic).

I learned how to stay awake for shifts that ran until 4am (chug a shirley temple with a splash of OJ in it at 11pm, brush your teeth at 1am for a quick minty rush).

I learned how not to have to make both decaf & regular (just make decaf, nobody can tell and placebo caffeine is real).

I learned how to direct attention toward my money making asset (neon orange bottle opener in my back pocket).

I learned how not to get caught kissing boys during my shift (behind the dumpster out back #classy).

I learned how to make everyone in a room feel special at once (remember what everyone drinks, always keep extra bud lights on ice for Tom, chill the stella glass for Kenny, play Marshall Tucker Band when Mark walks in, blow lots of kisses, don't forget the ice on the side!)

I learned how not to throw up behind the bar the day after my first St. Paddy's day as a legal adult (ginger ale + bitters with a side of oyster crackers).

I learned how to hack the menu that I'd been eating from for four years straight (tacos - meat + sweet potato fries = new secret menu item for all of the hippies at the bike store down the street & me).

I learned how to get the kitchen guys to sneak me sweet potato fry tacos on demand (giggle often, bat lots of eyelashes, try and speak spanish, send back ice water every half hour in the summer, salsa dance with them on slow shifts). 

My diet has changed a bit since the days when I would survive on the bowl of dead fries in the window and the occasional stolen mozzarella stick. I'm tryna (sometimes) replace sour cream with cooling cucumber ribbons and fried things with roasted things. We're not that mad about it! 

Sweet Potato Tacos
(makes 8 tacos)

\\ 8 corn tortillas
\\ 3-4 sweet potatoes
\\ 1 english cucumber
\\ 1.5 tsp cumin
\\ 2 TBSP olive oil

\\ 2 large tomatoes (or one giant heirloom tomato, like I used)
\\ 1 shallot
\\ juice of 3 limes
\\ handful of cilantro
\\ 2 TBSP olive oil

First, prep the Pico de Gallo:
\\ Dice the tomato, chop the shallot and cilantro, mix in bowl with the lime juice and olive oil. Add a pinch of salt, cover and let hang in the fridge until you're ready (or do what I did and eat so much of it with chips that you're not hungry for the tacos anymore).

For the tacos:
\\ Preheat oven to 375. Wash, peel & cube the sweet potatoes into 3/4-1" chunks. Toss in olive oil, cumin and a pinch of both salt and pepper. Bake at 375, flipping once, for about 40 minutes until crisp and browned on the outside and soft on the inside.
\\ Heat the tortillas- I did mine over the flame on my stove to give it a nice charred edge but if that's not available to you a minute or less in the oven will work just fine! Just heat them up so they can bend and party. 
\\ Top tortillas with sweet potato, a few spoonfuls of pico & ribbons of cucumber (just clean the cucumber and peel it with a veggie peeler into ribbons). 
\\ Serve with extra lime wedges and avocado, if you're so inclined.

MAGIC TRICK:
I leave my cilantro standing up in a glass full of water in the fridge, as if it were a flower that I want to keep pretty. It always lasts for over a week when I do this! I just grab off handfuls as needed.

xo

Audrey